Do You Love Me, or Not?
by Saikura-Chan
Summary: Kouichi is loved by someone, but he does not want to accept their love or love him back, but does he? finished
1. Do I?

KG: Hello! I finally got around to putting this up! I had it written out a couple of days ago, but I didn't have much time to type it up. I was asked to write this fic and well, here it is. I'm trying to avoid using the cliché plot for this pairing, ok? Anyways, I don't own Digimon Frontier or any other anime for that matter. Oh yeah, this is going to be in Kouichi's POV.

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Do You Love Me, or Not?—Do I?

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             I stared out my bedroom window, watching the red and golden yellow autumn leaves fall from the trees in the light of the late morning. It was august, a month before school would begin, but that wasn't what was on my mind then. I flipped over and buried my face in my pillow, thinking back to the incident from four days ago…

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_"Kouichi? Could I please talk to you?"_

_"Sure, you know you can talk to me about anything. What's wrong?"_

_"Well, I l-love someone...."_

_"Really? Who is it?"_

_"K-Kouichi..."_

_"What?"_

_"I-it's you... I love you…"_

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I didn't respond to that last comment, I couldn't. I just ran. I ran and left behind a person that I cared about so much feeling pain and regret.  Yes, that person was Kouji. I didn't want to hurt him, why would I? He's my brother, my twin brother. I love him and all, but just not that way. I really did feel regretful about what I did, running away like that. But then again, it wasn't like I had many choices at the moment... Why did that happen? Why out of all the other people out there, did he choose me? I would've expected him to like someone like Takuya, he was his best friend and they've known each other longer, since the beginning of the journey in the digital world... Me? I hadn't met Kouji until much later.  

            I closed my eyes now. I hadn't seen or talked to Kouji since that incident, I didn't know what I would say or do now. Strange, the very person I had searched for so hard I now tried so hard to avoid. He had tried to call me, but I wouldn't answer. My mom was visiting a relative of hers who was traveling abroad and I was alone for the next two weeks. I also had stayed at home to further avoid the chance of running into him. I did want to see him, but now I felt awkward thinking about him, he _loves me. But he's still my little brother, I really shouldn't do this... I should go and talk to him. Maybe he only _thought_ he loved me, yeah, maybe he just misunderstood close brotherly feelings for love. After all, it wasn't until just recently that he had truly opened up to others...that had to be it. _

I slowly sat up on my bed. Besides, I did say he could talk to me about anything, right? I had to be there for him and anyways, I guess avoiding him wouldn't help anything. I got up and decided to pay my little brother a visit.

            I looked at the trees as I walked down the streets that led to Kouji's house. Their autumn leaves were really a nice sight, it was just sad that they would all eventually end up on the ground. But then again, they would grow back in the spring and be adorned with beautiful blossoms. I soon saw Kouji's house and walked up the porch steps. I raised my hand, preparing to ring the doorbell and hesitated. What if he was mad at me now? I lowered my hand and then looked to the ground, maybe he wouldn't want to see me...

"K-Kouichi?" 

I looked up, startled. Kouji had come to answer the door and I hadn't even noticed him open it, "K-konnichi wa, Kouji."

            He looked at me in a sort of questioning way, "Why are you here?"

            "You said that you needed to talk to me," I pointed to myself, "well, I'm, here."

            "You just ran away... and then you avoided me," his eyes showed sadness and hurt, "why come now?"

            "Because I'm your brother, Kouji. I care about you and I know that I shouldn't have done what I did... Gomen nasai..." I really wouldn't blame him if he didn't forgive me... Hell, how could I? It was my fault that he was sad...

            "I forgive you."

            I blinked, not really trusting the idea that my eardrums were functioning properly. I looked at him again, he seemed a little happier now. He moved to the side, "wanna come in? We could watch TV or something." 

            I couldn't help but smile, "Sure."

            I walked in and looked around, the house looked empty. "Are your parents home?" 

            "Iie... dad's on a business trip, and mom went to a special event or something like that... I don't remember." 

            "Huh..." I sat down on the couch, Kouji got the remote and handed it to me.

            "Want some popcorn or something?"

            "Sure."

            "Coming right up!" he replied with a wink as he left into the kitchen.

            I chuckled a bit at that. Kouji had sure changed a lot... but I still wouldn't trust him cooking. That would still take some time. 

            I turned on the TV and stared flipping channels, looking for a good movie or show. Kouji returned a few minutes, holding a large bowl of popcorn. He handed me the bowl of popcorn, which I accepted and then sat down next to me. 

            "Here, I think there was supposed to be this good movie on." I handed him the remote and he found this channel showing some kind of.... _romance movie!?_

"My mom likes this movie a lot... I've watched it before..." at this point, I could not stop myself from staring at him. He watched _romance_ movies!? Since when? I looked at Kouji's eyes. What was he thinking? 

            It took me all of my self-control to keep from exclaiming in surprise at Kouji's action. He closed his eyes and then leaned his head against my shoulder. I blushed a deep shade of scarlet, which Kouji of course did not notice.  Had he planned this? I didn't move him, maybe he was just tired, but I still had my doubts... I decided to try and watch the movie and get my mind off of the situation, a task which was not so easy. I had to focus just to keep myself from falling asleep, after half and hour or so, I noticed that Kouji hadn't moved. I looked at him and noticed he had fallen asleep, a smile on his face, he actually looked kind of cute like that. Oh boy.... well, at least I didn't have to watch the movie anymore. 

I looked around for the remote and saw it in Kouji's hand. I didn't want to wake him up, so I gently pried the control out of his hand and started to flip channels again. I came across an old mystery movie that seemed kind of interesting and decided to watch it. It was a good movie at first but towards the middle it started to lose my attention and so I decided to turn off the TV. 

I yawned, not realizing how I had been restless for the past few nights. I decided that I should do the same as Kouji and get some sleep. I lay my head on the couch armrest, it felt cold against my warm face but it soon warmed up as it absorbed the heat from my body. It was so comfortable and I soon felt my eyelids droop. I really was tired, so I relaxed, let sleep consume me and let my mind be at ease...

*     *    *

I don't know how long it had been, but I felt warmth near my face. I also felt something warm on my body as well. Then, I felt something warmer and soft being pressed against my lips... Wait a minute! On my lips?! I quickly snapped my eyes open to see Kouji on top of me, his lips on mine. He was kissing me! 

            I immediately pushed him away with my arms, blushing even worse than before. 

            "What are you doing?!"

            Kouji flinched, it was not common for me to raise my voice, especially at him.

            "K-Kouichi… I'm sorry. I-it's just that you looked so cute, asleep like that. I-I couldn't help it..." 

            My heart dropped. I immediately let go of any other possibilities. Kouji really did like me. 

"Kouji..."

            "I'm sorry! I can't help it, Kouichi, I love you..." 

            No...

            "Kouji, I love you too... but as my brother."

            "Is that the only reason you keep pushing me away?! Because I'm your brother?"

            The impact of those words hit me over the head like a ton of bricks. Was he right? _Was_ that the reason why I kept pushing him away?  My mind drifted back to when he was asleep, with that smile on his face... 'he looks cute'... oh no... 

Did I love him too?

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KG: well, there it is. I am going to start on chapter 2 soon, but I might take a while... I'm also gonna try to make longer chapters if I can. Sayonara!


	2. What's the Difference?

KG: Hello! I've bee writing in my notebook a lot and now I've finally gotten it typed up. I decided to put in some Junzumi in here, hope you enjoy it! Oh yeah, I don't own digimon, just my ideas for fanfics and fanarts.

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Do you love me or not?—What's the Difference?

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            No... He couldn't be right. He was my brother, I couldn't be in love with him. Yet despite this, I could not get the image of him asleep out of my mind... or the idea of how cute it looked. No! I shouldn't be thinking that way!

            "K-Kouji, I have to go. I have to clean up the house... I'll see you later." I couldn't stop running away...

            "Yeah... sure," I didn't even look at him when he said that, by then I was already out the door.  

            I looked up at the afternoon sky, not really caring where I was running to. I began to run faster, as if I could run away from my problems, but I knew I couldn't. I eventually got to my house. I quickly unlocked the door and ran upstairs into my room, only to resume my previous place on the bed. I buried my face into my pillow again, it felt so soft and warm... kind of like Kouji's lips... 

            "Aargh!" I quickly tossed the pillow over the side of my bed. No!! I had to stop thinking like that! I already felt bad about hurting him before, but this time I didn't only feel bad... I felt a deep hurt as well. 

            _You know you like him, that's why it hurts this time._

            "NO!!" even as I yelled that out at myself, I felt my eyes begin to grow warm and well up with tears... 

            "It wouldn't be right! No one would accept it!"  I yelled, again at myself.

            _No one? Kouji would, he loves you._

The tears began to cascade down my face as I though that. I buried my face into my mattress now, since I had tossed my pillow aside earlier. I can't... I can't...

            _Why make it painful for both of you? Why don't you just say you love him too and make him and yourself happy?_

Just shut up already! Great, now I was even arguing against myself... I hate it when that happens...

            I turned over to my left side and stared at my drawer. Well, not really. More specifically, I stared at the photographs I had placed on it. My gaze first fell on the one that we had taken some time after we got back from the digital world. Takuya, Tomoki, Junpei, Izumi, Kouji and I were all together, smiling and laughing. That was all it had looked like before, the six of us being happy and having a good time, but this time I noticed something else that had not caught my attention before. Kouji. I looked closely at Kouji and realized that he was looking at me, but with an adoring sort of look. My eyes quickly shifted over to the picture next to it. This picture was of only Kouji and me together. We had taken it a few weeks after the first picture. I looked to his face and found the same adoring look as before.

            Just how long had he been feeling this way?

            I let out a sigh as I turned onto my back and now began to stare at the ceiling. It was a calming sort of blue... the same color as my eyes, and Kouji's... 

            "Aargh!" Why can't I stop thinking about him? I need to clear my mind, I should get some fresh air.... maybe I should take a walk. 

            I slowly managed to drag my body out of bed.  I shot a quick glance out my window, it looked like the wind was blowing now... it would be cold. I began to look through my closet for a sweater or sweatshirt to wear. I quickly settled on a maroon sweatshirt and began to walk downstairs and out the door, locking it behind me.  I decided the best the place for a walk would be the park, so I headed off towards it. 

I could feel the wind picking up speed as it blew my blue hair back and lifted it off my neck. The wind reached back at my neck, making it tickle and bringing a smile to my lips. I turned the corner, which then led to the park. The park had a wide path with trees lining either side of it. It was a really nice sight especially when the trees were in bloom with their light pink and white blossoms. After a few minutes, I came across a large tree and noticed Izumi and Junpei sitting beneath it, having a picnic together. I smiled, they were both so happy just being with each other. Izumi's eyes looked over in my direction and I saw her smile.

            "Kouichi! Why don't you come join us?"  asked Izumi.

            "Yeah! Kouichi, it's been a while!" How true... I hadn't seen anyone else besides Kouji for the past two weeks or so. I decided to join them, I walked over and settled myself on the red and white-checkered cloth. Izumi reached into their picnic basket and offered me a sandwich, which I accepted. I unwrapped the sandwich and began to eat it, all while thinking about earlier today. I noticed Izumi and Junpei exchange looks of concern. 

            "Kouichi, is something troubling you?"

            "Yeah, you seem kind of out of it today..."

            I swallowed the piece of sandwich in my mouth and let out a sigh, "How do you know when you love somebody?" That was what was bothering me, I had to know whether I loved Kouji or not.

            Junpei and Izumi both pondered while looking at each other.

"Well..."

"We know we like being together and making each other happy..." Junpei began.

            "We also enjoy each other's company and we support each other. One of us has a problem, then we can talk to each other about it and try to find a solution together..."

            I nodded, even though what they said didn't really seem to help me out much.

            "... There's also a different feeling that we really can't explain, but it just makes us so happy, being together," finished Junpei.  At this point, Izumi gave me a knowing kind of look. 

            "Kouichi, is there someone that you think you love?" I wasn't all that surprised to hear her ask me that, but all the same my face became flushed as I slowly nodded my head. 

            "I really don't know who it is but I won't ask if you don't want to say it, all I'll say is that if you love that person, you'll know," Izumi reassured as she gave me a comforting hug.  She was right, I guess love just has it's own way of taking it's time to let you know it's there. I thanked them both as I finished the last of my sandwich and got up to continue my walk. 

            I walked on the path for a while longer until I came across a large cherry tree, this one still had quit a few light green leaves mixed in with its now red and yellow ones. I knew that this tree was the first one that would bloom in the spring and the last to lose its leaves in the fall, it was the oldest tree in the park and my favorite one at that. I would always come there to sit beneath it and think or just relax. I sat in my usual position between the two large roots that were raised almost like armrests. 

            I thought now about my conversation with Izumi and Junpei. I enjoyed Kouji's company, being with him, I wanted him to be happy, I wanted to help him whenever I could and all the other things they had mentioned, but weren't those the kinds of things that brothers did? I mean, how could I tell if what I was feeling was brotherly love or something else?  What exactly was it that set the love that couples feel that sets it apart from family love? I though about the last thing they had also included, an unexplainable feeling that made them so happy... what was it? I faintly remember some strange floaty feelings I had experienced while near Kouji in the past. 

'All I'll say is that if you love that person, you'll know.' 

            Okay, but when? When will I know? 

            I turned my eyes to the sky, which was now lined with many puffy snow pure white cumulus clouds that seemed to have a light of their own. Light... 

            I sighed, my thoughts had been driven back to Kouji again and this afternoon. I felt my face grow red as I thought about when he was kissing me. To be honest with myself, I had actually like the feeling of Kouji's lips on mine until I had actually shaken myself out of my drowsiness. They were so warm and soft and he was so gentle while he was doing it.

            'Is that the only reason you keep pushing me away?!  Because I'm your brother?'

            'If you love that person, you'll know.'

            They were both right, I had only pushed him away because he was my brother, and I knew I had loved him... but I didn't want to admit it to myself because I was worried of what others would think, I understood all of that now. My love had been sort of mild back when I first liked him so I bottled it up and ignored it without much of a struggle, but when Kouji told asked straight out if I only pushed him away because of our relation it triggered my feelings and became harder to suppress them. I began to mentally argue with myself and kept on feeling awful because I was trying to push away something that I really wanted. But not anymore, I knew that I loved him now. 

I knew it would still be hard for others to accept it when they found out, but Kouji and I could find a solution to this together. The only thing I could do right now is try to apologize to Kouji for being so stubborn and tell him that I loved him too. But now I was wondering how I could possibly tell him after I had run away again...

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KG: There, got through this, I realize that I had made Kouji OOC in first chapter. I really couldn't help it, I tend to do that without really thinking, gomen. I'll try to not do it so often and keep on doing the best I can on this fic. Sayonara!


	3. Together

KG: Phwee! Took me a while to write this chapter out, but I finally did! I don't own Digimon but still think it's the best show ever!

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Do You Love Me, or Not?—Together

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I still pondered on how I should tell Kouji about my feelings as I started to walk again. I mean I had already made him upset earlier this day, he wouldn't want to see me now, would he? I decided to head home to think about how to do this. 

As I looked up at my house, I felt my heart rate speed up. Kouji, Kouji was walking up my porch steps. He had actually come to see me even after this morning. I was relieved, at least I knew that he still wanted to see me...

         Kouji raised his arm and rang the doorbell and then stared at the door uneasily. I decided to surprise him.  I slowly tiptoed up the steps and stood behind Kouji I hesitated for a moment, then I wrapped my arms around his waist. 

         "Wha-?! Kouichi?!" 

         "Yup, it's me..."

         "Kouichi... does this mean...?"

         "Yes Kouji... I love you too..." I leaned my face in towards his and let my lips settle on his. I saw him close his eyes and actually felt him smile as he did so. I didn't really didn't plan on doing this, but I was glad that I did anyway. Kouji then wrapped his arms around me and I realized how I really liked the feeling of having Kouji so close and having him hold me in his strong embrace. It was a really comforting sort of feeling that made me feel safe and secure, like nothing could go wrong. Kouji pulled away from me after a while and pecked me lightly on the cheek 

"So what made you change your mind?"

"I didn't change my mind, I just recognized my feelings. I didn't really want to admit it, but I loved you for a while now, Kouji. I'm just sorry that I didn't realize it before..."

         Kouji just smiled and hugged me again, this time letting his head rest on my chest, "well, better late than never, ne?" 

"Right. Kouji, why don't we go inside? It's getting cold out here," I reached into my pocket for my house keys and unlocked the door. Kouji let go of me now and walked inside. I followed soon wished that I hadn't suggested coming in. The house was a mess, I had some clothes on the couches, three days' worth of dirty dishes in the sink, I hadn't done my laundry and quite a few other things too. 

Kouji let out a low whistle as he examined the mess I had in the house, "what you said wasn't just an excuse, was it?" 

"Iie... I guess I was thinking so much that I forgot all about this..." my face was turning red again from embarrassment, how could I have been so irresponsible? 

"Well, I guess I'll have to help you out then. There is no way you're gonna finish this anytime soon on your own!" Kouji took off his jacket and bandanna, folded them and laid them neatly on the couch. Then he headed into the kitchen, took out the soap and sponge and began to wash the dishes. I really was thankful for his help, but I was also feeling kind of guilty. I should be the one cleaning my mess, not him.

"Kouji... you really don't have to do tha-"

"Don't even try, Kouichi. I want to help you out and there's nothing you can do to change my mind." 

I let my guilt go, there was nothing I could do. Anyways, Kouji really was as good at cleaning as he was bad at cooking. I tossed the clothes I had left on the couch into my laundry basket and went into the washing room. I separated my clothes and threw in the color first, I added the soap and left the machine to do the rest of the work. Kouji was still doing the dishes so I decided to sweep. Kouji and I both finished at the same time, and sat on the couch. He leaned in close to me and rested his head on my shoulder. I smiled at him and rested my head on his. Could feel his hair against my cheek... it was soft and-

_"Guuuu."_

I raised my head, trying to figure out where the sound had come from. I turned and looked at Kouji, his face turning a bright red. 

_"Guuuu."_

His stomach was growling! Kouji lifted his head and looked away from me, his face now red as a radish. 

         "Aaaw! You're hungry, aren't you? You don't have to be embarrassed!" I said even though I actually thought that he was cute when he got embarrassed. 

"Yeah... but I can't cook..." 

"Well, that's' why you've got me! I'll go fix us something to eat!" I stood up and walked into the kitchen with Kouji following me. 

"How does some ramen noodles with eggs sound?" 

         "Just fine."

         I walked to the refrigerator and took out some eggs then headed over to the stove. I didn't notice that there was a puddle of soap-water on the floor that Kouji had spilled earlier and I walked right on top of it. 

         I felt my foot slip and I fell backwards, eggs flying into the air. Kouji was behind me and caught me before I hit the floor, but neither of us had reached for the eggs...

         _"Crack!"_ the first egg landed on top of my head, spilling egg white into my hair.

_         "Splat!"_ the second on Kouji's head, running the egg white into his long hair.

         _"Plop!"_ the last two eggs landed simultaneously on our clothing, leaving the kitchen floor clean but us as a mess. Kouji lifted me up and looked we looked at each other for a while before bursting out laughing. I reached into my hair, trying to get the egg yolk out before it could get in my hair. I squeezed my hand and felt something like thick liquid flow over my hand. I pulled my hand out and examined it. I had broken open the yolk sac and now it was seeping into my hair. I sighed and quickly got the yolk sac off my clothes before it could do the same thing. 

         Kouji began laughing again and pointed to the mirror in the living room. I walked over and began to laugh when I saw my reflection. My blue hair now looked slightly green through the yellow yolk. I helped Kouji get the yolk sac off his head and clothes before he could make a bigger mess on himself. I got the mop and cleaned up the spilled water before anyone tripped again and then got out four more eggs and resumed making us some food. Kouji ate rather quickly, and finished his serving when I was barely halfway through mine. 

"Gee, you must have really been hungry... Want some more?" 

"No, I'm fine now. The ramen was really good though, what did you put in it?" 

"Oh, my own certain special ingredients."

"Not telling, huh? Will you teach me how to cook sometime?"

"Sure thing. But maybe you should clean yourself up, I don't want that egg yolk to stay in you hair. Good thing you took off your jacket and bandanna, you can borrow some of my clothes if you want."

"That would be great, sankyuu." 

         "Just make sure that you don't spill more water on the floor!" 

         Kouji laughed some more at this statement, "Okay then!"

         He was beginning to head to my room, but stopped and looked at me. 

         "What is it Kouji?"

         Kouji's face began to turn slightly red as he replied with something I hadn't really expected... 

         "Do you want to come in with me?" 

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KG: Slightly shorter chapter, oh well. I guess I did some more OOC... ::knocks self on the head:: but I can't really help it! Well, hope you liked the chapter anyways. Laters!~


	4. Promise

KG: Chapter four!! Sorry that I didn't post this chapter sooner! I just got loaded with homework this week! I might not finish before Christmas, but I want to put in a one-shot Christmas fic if I have time. Hope you enjoy this chapter! ^__^ 

I don't own digimon frontier, or any other anime

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Do You Love Me, or Not?—Promise

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Did he just say that? How could Kouji ask that?! Okay, I mean we had done it once before.... but that was before we were in love and he knew it. 

"No, Kouji!" I told him while shaking my head. No way!  That would not be right! Kissing, hugging, that was okay, but now this? 

         "Kouichi, we'll just help clean each other up! I mean we are still brothers, right?" and now he uses that against me...

         "Of course we are still brothers but we love each other now Kouji, it's different now!

         "Kouichi...." He gave me a look with his face that I had not seen before...

         "....." Great, he was trying to convince me now by making a begging sort of face!! I couldn't believe it... why was he so desperate anyways? 

         I had and gave no intention of giving in and crossed my arms across my chest to make my point, "No."

         That's when Kouji came over to me and pecked me on the cheek causing me to blush. No, anything but that... 

         "Just this once... we're not gonna do anything..." he now had this absolutely cute pleading look on his face that made me want to just melt to the floor.  Oh geez... I could never keep up a good stand, especially against Kouji... and I was the older brother here! 

         I smacked my hand to my face in defeat, "Ooohh... fine but only this once!!" 

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         Why had I let him convince me? We had gone to my room and chosen clothes to change into were now currently in the bathroom. The tub had already been filled with warm water. I felt extremely uncomfortable now. Kouji was facing the wall opposite to me and was now beginning to take off his dirty yellow shirt. I immediately turned around and all while blushing furiously, began to do the same thing. I quickly took off the rest of my clothes and got into the tub before Kouji was even half done.

I moved over to one side of the tub and reached for the shampoo. I squeezed some out and began to wash my hair, making sure to face away from Kouji's direction. I wanted to finish as quickly as possible so that I could get out of here. I felt the water rise as I was about to rinse my hair and I knew that Kouji had gotten into the bathtub. I felt a hand rest upon my shoulder. I turned around and found my face in such close proximity with his.

"Hey Kouichi, could you pass me the shampoo?" he asked while pointing to the bottle. He had untied his hair and it flowed over his shoulders and down his back gracefully like a black river, something I had not noticed before. All in all, I thought that he looked good like that, and then I became aware of the fact that I had been staring at him for the past few minutes and felt my face turn an indescribable shade of dark red as I quickly grabbed the bottle of shampoo and passed it to him turning my gaze away from him again. I had finished rinsing out my hair when I felt Kouji put his hand on my shoulder yet again.  

         "What is it, Kouji?"

         "Would you wash my hair? I can't see the back of it too well and I don't want to leave egg in it." 

         ".... Fine." Kouji handed me the shampoo and turned around so that his back was to me. I squeezed some of the shampoo into my palm and began to work it into Kouji's hair. His hair felt so soft and silky and the highlights cased by the bathroom lights only made it look even more silky and smooth. I worked quickly before I could begin doing something without thinking. I rinsed his hair out and made sure to get all the egg out.  

Then Kouji turned around and faced me, "Now I'll wash out your hair." Was he kidding?! I had already washed mine!!

         "Kouji, I already washed my hair out!"

         "Oh yeah? I can still see some egg white in there, Kouichi. Just turn around and I'll get it out." There was never any way to argue against him, was there? I reluctantly turned around and handed Kouji the shampoo. I soon felt his hands on my scalp and felt quite flustered. 

Sheesh... maybe I was just exaggerating my feelings about the whole thing. Kouji's hands soon began to gently move in small circular movements along my scalp and I had t admit... the feeling of that was rather pleasant, it made me feel relaxed and calm. After Kouji had finished, I rinsed out my hair and proceeded with washing out the rest of myself. Kouji and I soon got out of the tub and changed into clean clothes. 

         "Kouichi, I had to go buy groceries for my mom today, could you come with me please?" Kouji asked when we had finished cleaning up the rest of my house. 

         "Sure Kouji, we could go to the store just down the street. So what does your mom need?" Kouji reached into the pockets of his egg-covered pants, which were folded on my bed and pulled out a small list. 

         "Let's see... milk, carrots, cheese, some soap and also some... eggs." We both laughed as he read off the last item, I could still picture the way we looked covered in eggs.

         "Okay then", I grabbed my sweater, "let's go".  

*         *         *         *         *

         "That'll be 1600 yen, please," Kouji pulled out the money from his wallet handed it to the blonde lady. "Sankyuu and have a nice day! Here's your receipt."

         "Sankyuu," I replied as I picked up the grocery bags. Kouji followed me and once we were out of the store, put his arm around mine.  

I was glad that the streets were kind of empty, I mean I love Kouji and all, but I still was uncomfortable thinking about how people would react to us being together as a couple. In fact, I was wondering on how I could ever explain this to Kouji's parents, or my mom. Well, I was more focused on talking to Kouji's parents since my mom was still going to be away for two weeks while his were going to come back that evening.

Kouji unlocked the door to his house and we went inside. I settled the bags on the kitchen table and helped him put them away.  After we had finished I looked at the clock, it read 6:00 now. "Kouji, when are your parents coming home?" 

"Well, dad said he would get back at around 7 o' clock and mom was gonna get back at about 8, why?" 

         I wondered how Kouji would react to my wanting to tell his parents about our new relationship... 

         "I wanted to try and talk to your parents about us," I watched as Kouji wore a face of pure shock. "Kouji, I'm sorry. I-I just wouldn't feel right having to hide..."

         "Kouichi, are you crazy?! There's no way they'll accept this.... they won't listen to how we feel, all they'll care about is how we're related. They'll probably make it so that we don't see each other anymore! I don't want that Kouichi!! I've been so alone during my life, I don't want that again!" Kouji practically flung himself at my waist and began sobbing into my chest. I had not meant for him to take it that way. 

I rubbed his back until he stopped sobbing, then he raised his tear-streaked face towards mine. "K-Kouichi, don't leave me..." 

         "Kouji, I'll never leave you, trust me, I won't let your parents or anyone else break us apart. I promise." 

         "Kouichi, I-I love you s-s much.." Kouji then leaned his face towards mine. I closed my eyes and began to do the same. The door burst open and caught Kouji and me off-guard as our lips touched. 

         "Kouji, I'm back and- what on earth?! Kouji... what are you two doing!?"

         Well... it looks like I was going to have to explain after all...

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Sorry about that... I'm probably gonna take longer on updating now... oh yeah I'm also gonna register at Fictionpress.com now, My penname's still gonna be the same though, please tell me what you think of my first story! I'm gonna put it up on Saturday. Please read and review!


	5. No Matter What

KG: Gomen!! I realize that I took longer than ever to get this chapter up and I apologize!! You'd normally think that teachers would leave less homework near the holidays, but no.... I got loaded and busy... :: realizes she is rambling:: um, anyways, got a bit of writer's block and took a while to type this chapter up, but here it is. Tanoshimu! 

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon frontier or any of its characters. 

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Do You Love Me, or Not?—No Matter What

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            Kouji's father had just walked through the door, hoping to surprise Kouji, but ending up to be the one to receive the surprise. It turns out that his business trip had ended earlier than expected, which turned out being very unfortunate for us...

            "Kouji?! Wha-" He held his hand to his face in disbelief, trying to compose himself. "I couldn't have just seen what I think I did, ne? You couldn't have possibly been kissing your brother..." 

            Kouji could not look up at our father's face and fixed his gaze on the floor instead, I in turn could not help but to move my foot in circular motions against the floor. "D-dad... p-please, don't say that..." Kouji let out after a few moments of uneasy silence. Our father looked confused at this statement, but I understood completely, this just wasn't making things any easier to explain. I knew that I had said that I would talk to our parents earlier, but it was now when I faced with the situation that I truly realized how much easier it was said than done. 

            "What is that supposed to mean Kouji? What is going on here?!" I disliked how our dad's voice was raising, I hated the disbelief and denial I heard in his tone and most of all, I hated how Kouji was the one receiving it all. I stopped moving my foot, balled up my hands into fists and felt my nails beginning to dig into my skin, I couldn't take much more of it. 

"Leave. Kouji. Alone," I said, emphasizing on each word. "We love each other and that's all there is to it! We know we're brothers and that this will be hard to accept, but it doesn't matter!! We'll be together and that's all we want!!" I went on with growing confidence and seriousness. 

            Kouji looked at me in disbelief, I never was the kind of person to talk to adults or elders like this. I was surprised too, I never would have imagined that I really would have been able to express myself like that to anyone, let alone to our father. 

            Kouji and I weren't the only ones surprised by my outburst, our dad also seemed taken aback by it. He took a while to think and let out a sigh before speaking, "I'm sorry you two, but I can't let you two be together like this. Are you honestly thinking about how others will react to this? And besides, you are still brothers, it would not be allowed! Kouichi, I want you to go home and not come back here."

            "But-!!"

            "No protests, Kouji, you will stay here and you will not be allowed to see Kouichi for the time being. I will speak with your mother and his about this affair. Kouichi, leave now." 

            I shot I quick glance over at Kouji before opening the door and slamming it behind me and running into the now darkening streets, tears beginning to fill my eyes. I kept running, the realization of what just happened still sinking in. I opened the door quickly, slamming it behind me as I entered. I began to feel the tears threatening to fall as I closed all of the drapes in the house, shutting out the light and casting an almost pitch-black darkness inside the house.  

            I sat down by the main door, pulled up my knees to my chest and let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. I burrowed my face against my knees and sobbed uncontrollably. I couldn't believe the events that had taken place in that day... I discovered that I loved Kouji, we became a couple and were already being pulled away from each other...

            "Doushite...? Doushite..." I kept repeating to myself, trying to figure out why things were the way they were. Why had our father arrived earlier than expected from his trip? Why had Kouji and I fallen in love with each other? He could have just as easily fallen in love with Takuya or Izumi... Why did things have to be such a burden? After everything that I had been through, I had begun to believe in destiny and fate, that things were always set towards a certain path. Was this the path we were destined to take? Were Kouji and I not meant to be together? But then why had I found him? There must have been a reason for that too.... These thoughts continued to occupy my head, until I eventually drifted to sleep on  the cold, tiled floor.

            It must have been around midnight when I was awakened by the sound of someone knocking on the door. I rubbed my eyes and was about to tell whoever it was to go away when I heard the last voice I ever thought I would hear. 

_"Kouichi!! Open the door!!"_

            "K-Kouji?!" I quickly stood up and unlocked and opened the door to a moonlit night and a desperate Kouji who flung himself at me. 

            "Kouichi!! I almost thought you weren't here! I won't let them keep me away from you!" he said as he immediately wrapped his arms around me and began to sob into my chest. 

I was overjoyed to see him and began to cry as well, "K-Kouji, I almost th-thought that I w-wouldn't see you again..." 

            He turned his deep blue eyes up to mine, "but you promised that you wouldn't let anyone come between us..."

            "Kouji, I know I did, I just couldn't think of a way of getting to you... but looks like you sure did."

            "I told you Kouichi... I'm not going to let you go, no matter what. I've always had to leave people I cared I about in the past so many times, but I don't want to anymore! Even if I can only see you at night, I can sneak out after my parents fall asleep and come here. I really would..."

            "Kouji..." Maybe there still was hope after all. Maybe we were still meant to be together, and if we weren't then we will go against anything that got in between, even destiny... after all, destinies can be changed. 

            "Well, Kouichi, what about it?" He looked at me, awaiting my answer. 

            I didn't exactly feel comfortable about having to deceive our parents, but I was willing to do it until we could find a real solution. "Of course, Kouji. I'll be waiting outside at the end of your street every night at around midnight." 

            "Okay then!!" He cried out as he squeezed his hold on me. 

            "Kouji... please not so hard... I'll suffocate!!" I said as I tried to loosen his grip.

            "Gomen!" to my relief, he quickly loosened his hold. It seemed pointless to just stand around and do nothing so I was happy when Kouji suggested taking a walk together in the park. He let go of me and held out his hand to me. I blushed and gladly took it. We began to walk into the moonlit streets, free of worries... at least for now. 

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KG: Well, that's all I have for now, gomen. Please R&R!!


	6. Someone to Help

KG: I realized that I had not updated in quite a while and I apologize for that. I got sidetracked with my drawing and writer's block and not to mention the fact that my mom has been trying to keep me off the computer nowadays  -_-u. Anyhow, I decided to write the chapter out in my notebook first, which took a while and it took me forever to type it up, being the slow typist that I am. Ok, I don't own digimon and now to my notes:

I would like to thank Wand3ringspirit for asking me to write this fic, and especially Anrui Miyamara for inspiring me to write in the first place. 

Kayu- really?? Wow... well, I'm glad you changed your mind! And an imitation of Kouji's expression? Aww!! How can I refuse?? ^^

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Do You Love Me, or Not? —Someone to Help

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            For the next week, Kouji and I met each other every day. Well, actually it was more like we met every night. During those times we just enjoyed our time together, we would take walk and we rented a few movies too, and Kouji would always leave at around three in the morning. Yesterday we had decided to watch a movie together, so I was preparing the popcorn for us. I have to admit that I still felt guilty about us doing this behind our parents back and I worried about them finding about Kouji's being with me at night but I would forget about it as soon as he arrived. He always had a way of making everything all right. I had just poured the popcorn into some bowls when I heard Kouji's knock at the door. I hurried to open the door and immediately received a warm hug form Kouji. 

            "No problems tonight either?"

            "Nope, my parents were definitely asleep."

            "I've got the popcorn all ready and I even have some blankets since I heard it was gonna be cold."

            "Don't need them, not as long as I have you." I blushed a crimson red, I still haven't used to him using those comments, but I was flattered all the same. He settled himself on the couch and started the movie while I went to get the popcorn. After about an hour, I felt the loss of sleep from the past nights begin to take its effect on me as I yawned. I hadn't thought of this before... just how could Kouji still be wide awake? What if he and I fall asleep one day and his parents find out he's not at home? I thought of this as I my head leaned against Kouji's shoulders, eyes drooping. I didn't really want to fall asleep but I didn't think I would be able to help it...

            I felt Kouji's arms encircle me and pull me in close. I looked up at him, eyes drooping, and he just smiled. "Are you sleepy? I guess you're not used to staying up so late..." I nodded an affirmative and closed my eyes; the warmth from his body had only caused me to become drowsier. I felt Kouji's lips press against my forehead, and smiled. I felt Kouji pull away for a moment before he  kissed me again, this time on the lips. I loved the feeling I experienced when Kouji did that, this reminded me of something from before...

            Kouji pulled away and soon gave me the answer to what I was trying to remember, "I think that I can say that was a lot more better than the first time, ne?" 

            I chuckled a bit, now I remembered; it was like he first time he had kissed me. I was asleep and he had kissed me and woke me up. I pushed him away that first time, but there was no way I would ever do that now. "Yeah...." I replied, answering his question. 

            "Well, I'm glad you think so too..." he said. I yawned again and let myself fall asleep.

*     *     *

            I felt myself waking up as listened to the sound of the morning birds... wait a minute, morning?!! I opened my eyes and, to my horror, saw that I was still leaning on Kouji who had fallen asleep. I stood up abruptly, waking Kouji in the process.

            "Eh? Nani?" Kouji asked, still half-asleep. This was just what I had not wanted to happen, I should have stayed awake!! 

            "Kouji!! It's morning!! You should have been home right now!!"

            "What?! Che!!" He quickly got up and we heard a knock at the door. Both of us froze in place, I was sure Kouji was thinking the same thing as me. But he next thing to happen was the last thing I ever expected. 

            "Kouji, we need to go home now!! Your father isn't gonna stay asleep all morning you know!" 

            Kouji's eyes widened as he ran over and opened the door, "What the-!! Mom?!!" Mrs. Minamoto stepped inside and I felt myself calm down a bit, but not completely. Kouji's mom wasn't stern like dad, but she would still be taking Kouji away...

            Kouji must've known what I was thinking because he turned to his mom and said, "Mom, I'm sorry. You can't keep me away from Kouichi, you can take me back but I'll find another way out again! That's just how much I love him!" 

            I expected Mrs. Minamoto's face to crease into a frown, but instead, it curved into a small smile. 

            "I know that Kouji, that's why we have to get home before your dad wakes up." Wait a minute, she was gonna _help _us? "Kouji, if I tell your dad, I know things are gonna just get worse. For all of us, he's going be more stressed and you both would be depressed. Really, I have never seen you so happy before Kouji, I'm willing to let you two be together if it truly makes you that happy." 

            Kouji blinked his eyes, "Do you really mean that, Mom?" 

            "Of course, your happiness means a lot to me, Kouji. As well as yours, Kouichi", She said looking over at me. I felt very thankful towards Mrs. Minamoto, she really was a really understanding mom. "Kouji, I'm serious though, your dad could be waking up anytime soon. We should go home and besides, you need your sleep after going out for the past week." Kouji face turned red along with mine. Just how long had she known about us?? 

            Mrs. Minamoto only laughed lightly at this, "honestly boys, you really don't know how good a mother's senses are do you?" She started out the door and Kouji pecked me on the cheek before following her. 

            "Thank you Mrs. Minamoto, and I'll see you soon Kouji!" I said before closing the door, glad to have someone to help us. I nearly jumped out of my skin the next moment when I heard the phone ring. I stood frozen for a second but quickly ran for the phone the next, fumbling with it before I put it up to my ear.  "Hello, Kimura Kouichi speaking." 

            "Hello Kouichi, How have you been?" 

            "Mom! I've missed you and I've been just fine! How has your visit been?"

            "I've been just fine and the visit enjoyable, except for when your great-aunt Hiromi starts talking my ear off." 

            I couldn't help but laugh at that comment, I remembered Great-Aunt Hiromi from when I was 5 years old. Boy, could she talk and she would always fuss over everyone, especially me. I love her and all, but I really couldn't stand being fussed over. "So mom, you're coming back in a week, ne?"

            "Actually Kouichi, I'm going to be coming back on Wednesday, I'm starting to miss home and you already." I couldn't speak for a while, Wednesday? Today was already Sunday and she still didn't know about Kouji and me. Kouji's mom had taken it well... maybe she would too? 

            "Kouichi? Are you still there?" Oops, I forgot I was still on the phone.

            "Oh, sorry mom, I was just thinking." 

            "Well, okay then Kouichi. I love you and I'll see you on Wednesday!" 

"Love you too mom!" I heard a click before I hung up. Oh boy, well no good will come out of worrying, all I could do was hope for the better now.

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KG: I guess that was kind of short...It took me to realize also how good a mom's senses are as well, I just can't hide anything anymore from my mom. Well... almost anything. I apologize again for the long wait but I'm gonna have to say that I might take even longer for the next chapter. My teacher told me that you say sayonara when you expect to not see anyone for a long time so, sayonara!


	7. Well, do you?

KG: Waah!! How long has it been since my last update?! I'm so sorry!! I had writer's block and started drawing again, so that totally threw me off for a while! Well, after much waiting, here's the last chapter of this fanfic. Sorry, I just couldn't think of any other way of ending it and-

Takuya: Hiya!! ^___^ 

KG: Huh?! Takuya, what are you doing here?

Takuya: well, you didn't mention me in this story and I was feeling left out... ::puppy eyes::

KG: ::Sighs:: ok, you can do the disclaimer then... —  — 

Takuya: Yeah! ^____^ Okay, KoujiGirl does not own Digimon and will make me the main character in her next fic! 

KG: What?! I never said that!!

Takuya: ::puppy eyes::

KG: ::sighs:: fine... —  —U

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Do You Love Me, or Not? —Well, do you?

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I knew worrying wasn't gonna do anything, but I just couldn't help it. I of course told Kouji about my mom's phone call the next day when his stepmother drove him over, which caused him to worry as well. "But if she takes Dad's side, then it's going to be even harder for us to see each other anymore!" He said. 

"You know Kouichi, I have spoken with your mother a few times and she and I feel the same on many different subjects and matters," said Mrs. Minamoto, "and who knows? Maybe this will be another that we will share views on." 

I stared at her for a bit, even though I was very grateful that Mrs. Minamoto was letting be with Kouji, I wondered why she was okay with it. I had been meaning to ask her, but I really didn't need the answer right now, I was just glad to have someone on our side. 

"I hope you're right."

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Wednesday afternoon and I was pacing back and forth in my living room, I knew mom's flight had already arrived and that she should be arriving any minute now, but what I was worried about was another thing which happened to occur to me last night, What if dad had gotten wind about mom's early return? He did say that he would talk to her as soon as she had returned and then there was still my wondering of how mom would react to the whole situation. After five minutes, I finally sat down on the sofa only to start fidgeting with my fingers.  I finally heard the doorbell ring and got up to answer it. I took a deep breath before I grabbed the doorknob, there was one thing I was determined to do now and that was to be the first one to tell mom that I loved Kouji. I turned the doorknob and pulled the door open only to have my stomach tighten at the sight of the last person I had wanted to see.

"Kouichi, is your mother home yet? She called me yesterday and told me she was going to arrive about now," Dad said as he walked in. Kouji and Mrs. Minamoto were more courteous and greeted me first before coming in. 

"Don't worry," Mrs. Minamoto whispered into my ear as she entered, and I felt my stomach unravel a bit as she did, I knew she was going to do the best she could to help us. 

Everyone settled down in the living room but the tension in the air seemed to increase with each passing minute. I looked across the room at Kouji's hand, I wished that he could have been holding my hand right then, it would have given me all the comfort I needed, but I was sure that after this I could Kouji's hand whenever I wanted.

After about half an hour passed until there was another knock at the door, I got up uneasily and went to answer the door, sure enough, it was mom this time. "It so good to see you again Kouichi!" She said as she gave me a tight hug. I returned the hug half-heartedly and then looked up at her. "Kouichi, what's with the serious face? Did something happen?" 

            I took another deep breath, "Actually mom, something did happen while you were away..."

            "What happened?" she kneeled down and placed her hands on my shoulders, "Kouichi, what's wrong?" 

            As hard as it was, I looked her in the eye and told her the truth; "Mom, Kouji and I are in love now."

            "Which is why I came over to speak with you," called dad from the living room. "They can't possibly be allowed to be together, but they insist on it."

            Mom seemed surprised for a while, then se got up and walked over to the living room, "so everyone is here," she remarked as she sat down on a couch. "Okay, just how long has this been going on?" 

            "It was just after you left," I answered taking a place on the couch, "Mom, Kouji and I really love each other, we can't help it and we don't care if we're brothers or not."

            "Please mom, my step mom has already said that she's okay with it," Kouji added.

            "She has what?!" inquired dad.

            "He's telling the truth," Said Mrs. Minamoto, "I've also been letting them see each other after you found out dear," she replied calmly. 

            "Oh, you did?" asked my mom. 

Mrs. Minamoto nodded her head lightly, and then she smiled "you would have done the same, am I not right?"

            What I saw next shocked me, my mom was smiling as well and nodded her head, "you know me all too well now!" 

My dad's eyes were as wide as saucers, "how can both of you smile about this?! They are related, this wouldn't be accepted!!" he stated. 

            "Oh, let them be," said Mrs. Minamoto, "I can see that they share a pure love, they just want to be together."

            "Besides, you can't really put the fault on them, they were separated for almost eleven years," my mom added, "most brothers are together most of their lives so I can see how this came to happen." 

            "Besides, they will probably find other people to love later on, they are still young and people don't usually stay with their first love," said Mrs. Minamoto.

            Now I understood, they thought we only fell in love because we were separated for so long, they thought we would end up leaving each other in the end... They had completely misunderstood our feelings... now I felt hurt. I stared at Kouji, wondering how he felt about this now.

            My dad in the meantime, was holding his head, "I give up! You two are obviously going to let them be together behind my back anyways! But since you are saying that this is going to end, I suppose it can be left alone..." He stood up now, "I'm going to leave now. Kouji, you can stay if you like." Kouji nodded and father left, Mrs. Minamoto smiled as she followed him out.  

            "Well, I'm going to go get my luggage unpacked now. You boys just relax now," my mom said as she left to get her bags. I just sat there, Mrs. Minamoto's words replaying in my head 'Besides, they will probably find other people to love later on, they are still young and people don't usually stay with their first love'. Could she be right? Would Kouji leave me later on? I mean he was really popular at school, what if he found someone else? 

            I was so lost in my thoughts that I failed to notice Kouji next to me until he put his arms around me. "Well, thank goodness that's over!" he said happily. I didn't say anything; I just continued to stare at the floor. "Kouichi? What's wrong?" he asked.

            "D-do you think she's right, Kouji? That we'll leave each other later on? That this is just some kind of 'phase we're-" he placed a finger on my lips, and he smiled.

            "Kouichi, Do you love me or not?" he asked. I stared at him for a while, why did he ask me that? wasn't it obvious? "Well, do you?" he asked again. 

            "Of Course I-" he cut me off with a kiss.

            "and I do too and I'll keep loving you, forever." He said. Those words filled me with more happiness than anything else in the world. 

I just sat there now, a smile spreading on my face, "I will too Kouji!" I said as I hugged him, knowing that he and I would be together, forever.

~Owari

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Yup, that's it for now. I think it was a little short but I hope everyone liked it, especially Wand3ringspirit since she asked me to write this in the first place. I'll try to use a straight pairing for my next fic ^^;; (I said 'try'! ::grin::).  Out of curiosity, could everyone state their age when they review? I'd like to know which age group is reading my stuff. Doumo Arigatou Gozaimasu! 


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